On Being Hot and Cold but not sickening!

About being useful where you are.

I don't want God to spit me out like vomit!
I don't want to make Him sick!
That's what it says in Revelation, right?

God wants me to be useful, either hot or cold, but never worthless and lukewarm.

At my age it's time to take the emphasis off of me and my needs and start focusing on how to share about the wonders of a heavenly Father who loves me.

I'm at the point where I feel guilty going to yet another Bible study! Note-going. Not leading. Not giving out. Just soaking up more of God's goodness and knowledge.

Not, of course, that I know it all, or even part, or even a "smidgin". But I know way more than what I put into practice. I know way more than what I share. In truth, a lot of what I know about God is that He wants me to share. I haven't done that.

Year after year I've sat and soaked up knowledge about biblical things and deepened my own relationship with God. I've soaked up so much that I'm like a big old swollen dog tick, full up of knowledge of the precious blood of Jesus. I'm so full that I'm in danger of busting or falling off. Is that how I'm supposed to be? Is that being lukewarm?

If I have knowledge and do not share, is that being lukewarm? Do I make God sick, when He has so faithfully nourished me and I greedily keep it all for myself? Is that possible?

Can I be content to continue to only receive? Is my contentment sin?

On my last day, when I meet God face to face, is He going to be thrilled that I finished one more study on being a Godly woman and yet have not made time to share what I already knew from the last one?

Shame on me. I even make me sick!