On Crying in Target-A Confession

Ok, so I've just got to get this off my chest...heart...whatever. Monday night I was in Target trying to do the Christmas shopping that just hasn't gotten done (and still hasn't). While walking around like a zombie (yes really-almost dead-or was dead-or just looked dead), anyway at one point (11pm) I got to thinking about how fast time goes by and how the urgent always seems to take the place of the important. And....then it started happening....I started crying....right in Target in the aisle. At one point I thought I might have to sit down in the display case and just cut loose, but I managed to pull it back in and pretend my mascara was supposed to look like that. (after all when you have purple streaks in your hair you might actually think your mascara would look good running down that way). Well, anyway, it wasn't unexpected. After all the time and energy spent on the "Jesus The Light" arts festival I was waiting for the attack. Thing was though, it was personal and not related to work. I started thinking about the fact that my 11 year old dog Butch has died and I haven't grieved for him yet. Stupid right? Well it's not stupid to me. He was more than a dog, much more. I'll write about him in another note...a tribute to all dogs everywhere....later. Anyway, back to the time thing....I was thinking about all the Christmases in my past as a grown up, where so much time was spent in the buying and planning and execution of said plans. Sometimes (a lot of the time) the buying wasn't so much because the money wasn't so much so the planning had to be greater (like the time we couldn't afford a tree when we lived in the country and I got an axe and made the girls walk through the woods with me to find this scruffy little tree. Tried to make that fun but it wasn't and the tree was pitiful looking). So...shuffling through Target crying and thinking about how stupid it was to be there totally worn out, looking for presents that aren't going to mean very much in the grand scheme of things particularly over the course of time to anyone on my list, I passed a small child in a cart who was also crying (except he had a place to sit). He stopped crying, looked at me, and said "Hi"! Then he laughed and I did too. His mom said "see, you weren't so upset after all" to him and I thought...well I was..... but God sent me a little "it’s ok smile". I still have some shopping to do but it’s not urgent. It either gets done or not, but I’ll not waste another minute that I could be spending with my family. Especially NOT IN TARGET-they probably have my picture posted somewhere anyway with a warning on it.